Facing my fears through Praise Team

EugeneFeature_DSC_5363Eugene Kim, News Writer

It seemed really scintillating to watch Praise Team under the spotlight, singing about God. It created an urge in me to join the praise team, and the auditions were available.

what if I mess up, everyone will hear

Guitar is my specialty, so I thought, Why not give it a go? Granted I was accepted, but standing on stage was a bigger problem, because it’s scary for me to be up in front of people. I began to think: what if I mess up, everyone will hear, but then I thought: Whether you get chosen or not to be a part of the team, what is most important is that God is watching us. I tried to please God, so I auditioned and pushed past my fear.

The audition came near, but I hadn’t perfected the song. It was  Oceans by Hillsong and the first part I had down, but the strumming section including chords were not perfect enough to perform in front of Ms. Lee, the team advisor and Loukas, the team leader.

A friend that auditioned a day earlier, said it put a lot of pressure on him to audition. I also knew that he was better at guitar than me, which made me feel relieved, since I was certain they would not choose me. I was struggling with my desire to be picked, but also with not wanting to be picked, because again it meant I would have to face my fears on a weekly basis.  

The audition date came, and I stood outside room 103 waiting for the person before me to finish their audition. Soon, they were done. I took a deep breath, and made myself enter the audition room. Loukas was in there, as well as the majority of the praise team members. It was totally unexpected to have that many people watching me, but I assumed since it was lunch time they must have wanted to watch.

The first part of the song went well. My guitar picking was very clean and clear, but then the problems began. I lacked practice on strumming and changing chords, so I had to awkwardly stop playing since I did not make the sound well.

I walked out with a heavily sigh. I tried my best, but things did not go well. I tried to go over it, but it was to hard for me. It was an easy chord, but just because I didn’t practice it I didn’t play it well. If I had practiced, I was sure that it would have been better.

But then I learned that Praise Team is not only about being the best at your instrument, it is also how you answer the questions they ask you. No matter how much a worker’s skill is developed, it matters what the worker thinks about the job. It is because skill can be developed in the job, but the mental attitude cannot be changed. There were a lot of questions I had to answer, but I just answered straight from my heart.

They asked, Why did you join the praise team? I replied, “It is because I want to show others that I praise God.”

I see it this way, if you stand in the crowd during Friday chapel, you most likely stand like a rock and clap whenever everyone else does. But, if you stand up on stage, it is clear proof of praise to God, and I can lead by example.

No one would have thought that I would make it, not even me.